Time is such a beautiful illusion. I for one spend a lot of time planning my time, talking about time and reflecting on my life which I guess relates to time… I view time as a continuum of events. However, this post is not about time in this way.
This post is about the beauty of time in the way we age, appreciating how we age. As I turn 34 I want to explore the pressure and negative connotations that a large number of us (women) associate with ageing. Of course, I wouldn’t have a clue what men go through but I’m sure there are some parallels.
The pressures we go through as women, during our lifetimes are exhausting. Some examples include marriage, raising families, having careers, looking forever young, having amazing bodies, the list goes on… some people deal with these pressures really well and are able to live pressure-free lives but for a large number of us the pressure is real. I have noticed that the older I become social media has increased the pressure on women to look a certain way and remain young. In my opinion even stronger minded females find it hard to steer clear of such pressures.
Thinking about it carefully, many of the advertisements put to us often include perfect looking women and men within perfect backgrounds. However, if you are a mere mortal who needs to work, raise a family, run a household, have a social life and update your Facebook and Instagram feed, it is extremely tough to find time to remain “young” and retain the body of a 19-year-old! I mean when are you supposed to sleep?!
So, at the age of 27 I stopped buying fashion and gossip-type magazines, mainly to stop myself from bad shopping habits and because I didn’t feel great after going through them. I didn’t feel great judging other women or men and I didn’t want to compare myself to anyone or feel that in order to stay trendy I had to buy the latest clothes. This approach has really changed the way I view how I age and I for one am excited to see how I develop through the years.
I’m not saying that I’m old or I’m extremely worried about age at the moment but I guess I do spend money and time on looking after myself and the key difference for me is that I do it because I enjoy it. I spend so much time exfoliating, putting my moisturisers and body creams on it makes me feel amazing but I do wonder if this love started out of pressure!
I often hear my friends, colleagues and acquaintances who are around my age and even younger mention age in a negative way, particularly women and it worries me!
Here I am… closer to mid-thirties and let me tell you, in my 20’s I never imagined that I would ever be 30, let alone 34. My mid 20s were all about dealing with heartbreak and partying, my late 20’s was all about learning about myself and partying…yes, I love to party!
Let me tell you about my 30’s, they have been the best decade. My 30’s make me so excited about the future and the years to come! I find ageing beautiful, my body has had children, I work harder and smarter than I did in my 20s and most importantly I am much more sure of who I am, what I want and why I want these things. I know my body shape, I know what I can and can’t change about it and I am becoming more and more comfortable with the things that I can’t change!
In my thirties I feel like the journey of life is making me a kinder person and I am no longer fixated on who I am because of what I look like. I don’t want to change my appearance because I have come to understand that perfection is in the eye of the beholder and if we were all perfect wouldn’t it be so boring? This is so clichéd but our imperfections are part of what makes us unique and is not all about outer beauty!
The graceful process of ageing is something to be proud of; no one wants to end up like Jackie Stallone!! We tell men that they often age like fine wine but why is this not applied to women as we get older? In order for us women to change people’s perception about ageing we need to start accepting that it is ok to age, that we are beautiful at all ages! Just look after ourselves and I am sure the rest will take care of itself!
I guess my conclusion is that with age comes self-assurance, confidence, understanding and freedom on a level that I am still yet unable to fully articulate. Don’t forget that every line on your face represents so many memories and all those memories have shaped the person you currently are and will continue to be.
Until next time, stay kind and beautiful